I am Cajun...and I don't like Crawfish

🎸 "Wrong Kind of Cajun"

(Verse 1)

Well I was born in the bayou, raised on the swamp

Mémère said "boy, you gonna be a champ"

She boiled up a pot, said "eat up son!"

I took one look and said "Mémère... I'm done"

(Chorus)

'Cause I'm Cajun but I don't like crawfish

Lord have mercy, that's my dirty little secret

I live on a golf course but I don't play golf

I live on a lake but I ain't got a boat

I'm just a contradiction in a cowboy hat

A Louisiana man... and I'm fine with that!

(Verse 2)

My neighbors all holler "fore!" every day

I just wave from the porch, I got nothin' to say

The water's right there, shinin' pretty and free

But the only thing floatin'... is my sweet ice tea

(Chorus)

'Cause I'm Cajun but I don't like crawfish

Lord have mercy, that's my dirty little secret

I live on a golf course but I don't play golf

I live on a lake but I ain't got a boat

I'm just a contradiction in a cowboy hat

A Louisiana man... and I'm fine with that!

(Bridge — spoken, drawling slow)

"Now my daddy said, 'Son, you are a disgrace to this parish.'

And I said, 'Papa, I got a waterfront view and a zero handicap...

...on account of I never picked up a club in my life.'

He just shook his head and passed the étouffée.

Which I also don't eat."

(Outro verse)

So if you see me sittin' on my back porch swing

No rod, no clubs, no mudbugs, no thing

Just a cold drink, a sunset, and a real good view

Being wrong about everything never felt so right and true!

(Final Chorus — big finish)

Yeah I'm Cajun but I don't like crawfish

Lord forgive me, it's my cross to bear!

I live on a golf course but I don't play golf

I live on a lake but the boat ain't there!

I'm just a walking, talking, Louisiana joke —

But honey, from this porch?

The view ain't broke! 🎶

— To be performed in the key of "don't judge me" with a fiddle, a squeeze box, and someone in the background eating étouffée disapprovingly